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Watering Planted Seeds

Remember that hurricane I referenced in last week's blog post? Well it finally hit. Teaching during a world wide pandemic brought on all kinds of issues. Teachers, students, and families all had to navigate those treacherous waters in ways that none of us could have imagined. In a time when people were supposed to stay distanced from each other I felt myself becoming even more distant from the career that I thought was going to love forever.


When we were finally allowed to have in person classes again, my school opted to use block scheduling so that students weren't being mixed up as much. Even though I was expected to teach a lesson for 90 minutes at a time to a group of students sitting in my classroom AND a group of students that joined via Zoom (BY MYSELF, might I add), I was actually enjoying teaching again. I felt like I had adequate time to build relationships, students wanted to be there, and we could actually get into lessons with substance and depth. That year was a great year for me in the classroom. I was being challenged to learn new technologies and methods with virtual teaching.




But then the spring semester of 2021 came and I found out that we were expecting our 2nd baby! I knew this was going to be our last child and I was so excited to welcome our baby boy, Tripp, into our lives. My daughter was going to be the best big sister anyone could dream of (and she truly is!). Even my students thought it was so great that they threw me a baby shower. My little "Ag Teacher Family" was going to be complete. I felt like I had checked off another box on my bucket list for life.


That summer I spent my days hauling students and their show pigs across Kentucky with a big ol' pregnant belly and a little blonde haired, pig tailed girl. It was so amazing that I forgot all about how that seed of transitioning out of the classroom had gotten planted. I had a great school year with my students and my summer days of being an ag teacher were phenomenal despite feeling like there wasn't enough ice in this world to quench my one craving and being nauseous for the majority of my pregnancy.


In the fall of 2021, my last day before maternity leave was our school district's opening day. I had spent the summer getting ready for maternity leave, making sure my plans and supplies were all in order, meeting with my long term substitute, and pre-ordering all of the feed my school farm animals were going to need. I didn't want to have to worry about anything while I was at home snuggling my last little baby.


But during this maternity leave, I realized something about myself. I don't do well not having a project to work on or a "box to check off" my bucket list. My husband had wanted to get into the rental home business for years so while I was on maternity leave, that ended up being my mission. We closed on our first rental property 5 weeks later and our first LLC was born. We started renovating the house while I was still at home with a newborn and a toddler. I'm pretty sure this phase of our life was when the water started to drip for that metaphorical planted seed that I had for leaving the classroom.


When I came back to work in the second grading period, things had changed. At first I couldn't put my finger on it but that excitement I was having the previous school year was completely gone. It's like it vanished into thin air. We were back to 7 period days, my admin team had a new dynamic to it, and the kids were not the same. Unless you were a teacher pre-pandemic AND post-pandemic, its hard to understand just how much that time period really affected the educational system. For the first time in my career, I was thinking about walking out of the classroom and tossing my keys in the hallway and never coming back. This happened on a weekly basis.


Looking back, I know that some of my struggles were postpartum related. I missed my babies and while they had an AMAZING person looking after them while I was looking after other people's children, I became resentful every time a student would act out of turn. I felt like I was choosing to give up time with my own kids for a job that was sucking the life out of me. So I stopped. I stopped caring if I had great, engaging lessons for my students. I stopped caring if my FFA chapter was involved in our community or if it was beneficial to the students that were in it. At the time I was justifying all of my actions based on the actions of my students. It was like all simple manners went out the window over the last year. And our admin team had their hands tied due to new regulations post pandemic so there was no support from them either.



As I was struggling with coming back to work after maternity leave ended, I kept praying to God for a change. I was desperate for something more. I started envisioning a very different life for myself for the first time since I was a freshman in high school. A life that didn't involve being a traditional teacher. At that time I wasn't concerned with making more money but I knew that I wanted a job that I felt like I was growing in. That's when that greenhouse company I was telling you about posted a job that I felt like I may be qualified for. God heard my prayers and he was giving me a sign!


And while you may think that is where my story of transitioning out of the classroom ends...it's not. I didn't get that job. But there's more on that next week.


PS: If you or someone you know is struggling with life after postpartum, please know that you are not alone and that what you're going through is something that you can come out of. A lot of people talk about postpartum depression but my scenario related more to postpartum anxiety which I didn't know was even a real thing. If this relates to you or someone you know in any way, you may want to check this book out "Not Your Mother's Postpartum Book" by Caitlin Slavens and Chelsea Bodle.


Until next week,



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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I'm Shelby! I am a former agriculture teacher turned training manager turned full time business owner. I firmly believe that we were not given one life to live to only become one thing, one version of ourselves. 

Thanks for joining me on this therapeutic journey as I navigate another growth phase of life.

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